The Dolphin's Footsteps Book I
by MorganD
Summary: Shounen Ai Clow+Yue. Back to Hong Kong, Clow has to face his family, a horde of pirates, his two upset Guardians and his own inner demons.
1. Orbit

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The Dolphin's Footsteps  
_by Morgan D._

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Book I

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Card Captor Sakura's characters belong to CLAMP and Kodansha.   
I'm responsible for Tata and the others. Feel free to borrow them, just tell people I'm the one to blame for their existence ^_~

Sequel to **"Orbit and Contact"**_. You'd better read it before getting to this one.  
Shounen Ai._

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~*~

Part I  
Orbit 

Her definition of a jolly, pleasant day: sitting comfortably in a perfumed English garden, a heartwarming sun defying a cool autumn breeze, the falling leaves painting the ground with her favorite shade of yellow. Right before her eyes, a delicate silvery angel leaned back against the chest of a tall, handsome magician with long black hair and deep blue eyes, who held the smaller figure tenderly by the waist.

Tata sighed happily. Those two had started early this morning. Promising.

"You're too tense, Yue," Clow whispered, blowing the Guardian's soft hair with his breath. 

"I'm sorry, Clow..."

"Just relax," the mage soothed, massaging Yue's shoulders. "Feel the blood rushing through your arms, your hands, warming your fingertips, running back to your heart... And no matter what I do, don't forget to breathe."

Yue nodded obediently, a timid smile curving his lips. His Master's hands came down to caress his naked arms, cupping his right elbow, wrapping around his left wrist. He allowed Clow to position him at will, trustingly.

A dozen meters away, Tata leaned silently forward, trying to get a better view of the pair without calling attention to her presence.

Clow lowered his head until his cheek rested against Yue's, sighing at the cooler feel of the pale preternatural skin. "Yue..."

"I'm ready."

"Are you sure?"

The Guardian's only reply was a lopsided grin.

Tata bit her lip and held her breath, doing her best not to blink.

A stronger wind gush blew a silver tress against Clow's lips and the mage stood still for a second more, savoring its dewy fragrance...

...and let him go, stepping back. "Go."

Yue complied and opened the fingers of his right hand. The bow shuddered slightly as the arrow dashed forward, piercing the air at frightening speed to stab the wooden target 90 yards away, a good couple of inches off the red mark in the center. 

Yue huffed under his breath. Clow petted his hair. Tata smirked.

"I don't know what is with me today," the Guardian grimaced. "My aim has never been this bad."

Clow laughed. "You're doing great. Don't be such a perfectionist."

"A near-miss can be the difference between life and death."

"You won't miss when hitting the target becomes a matter of life and death," Tata snickered aloud, relaxing on her chair. "Right now your mind is simply not on it." She grinned wickedly at Clow. "I wonder where it could be..."

The magician ignored her, just as he had been doing for the last couple of months. "You're trying too hard," he told Yue. "You know how to do it, your body knows what to do. You're thinking too hard and letting your thoughts blur your mind. Feel the wooden bow in your hands as close and intimate as the one you shape with your powers. Make it breathe with you. Make yourself fly with the arrow when you release it." He put his hands on the Guardian's shoulders and made a weird face. "Take it easy, Yue-chan! When will you ever learn to have fun?"

Yue scowled at his Master's comical impression of Kerberus's accent and annoying attitude. "I'll go fetch the arrows and try again." He was high in the air before Clow could argue.

Tata rolled her eyes. "One step forward, a whole street backward. You two are driving me nuts, Blue-eyes."

" I haven't the faintest idea of what you're talking about," Clow said defensively.

"Of course you don't," she snorted, and changed idioms. "Could we please talk in English? Japanese demands too much of my brain."

He sat with her at the garden table, acceding to her request. "There's nothing new to what we are doing. I always had him practicing with a wooden bow before using his own."

"I couldn't care less about the kind of bow he uses."

"And he asked my help to master the long shots."

"You are his teacher," she nodded.

"And I agree that he's a bit distracted today," Clow conceded. "But even magical creatures have their down moments."

"Since they can only be as perfect as their creator..." She shrugged. "And you can be awfully distracted at times, Blue-eyes."

Reaching for the crystal jar, he poured some white grape juice in his glass. "So... what are you scolding me for?"

"We're in the middle of autumn."

Clow eyed her quizzically. "That's hardly my fault."

"And while he practiced for the whole summer wearing his overcoat, **_now_** he thinks it's too hot for it."

"He said the fabric gets in the way." 

If Clow decided to think harder about it, he might have found strange that the fabric had never been in Yue's way since his first lessons. But with the opportunity to brush his hands over the velvety skin of his Moon Guardian's arms, Blue-eyes could always find more important things to do than thinking hard about anything. "Did he mention in the way of what?" the sorceress winked.

"Tata! You wanna cram my head with dirty thoughts, fine! I'm used to it by now. But Yue is a child, he doesn't even know..."

"Sure," she cut him off. "And it's only a coincidence that his archery skills seemed to have evaporated right when you decided that the fastest way of teaching him a better way to hold the bow is by hugging him from behind..."

"I wasn't **_hugging_**..."

"My only doubt would be, is he having trouble concentrating because you're holding him, or **_in order to_** have you teaching him and holding him for a while more?"

"What?!"

"We know he can be pretty cunning when he wants to..."

"That's absurd!"

"Oh really?"

"Shut up, Tata. He's coming back."

Yue landed near the table, eight arrows in his hands and a suspicious look in his face. He opened his mouth, but changed his mind and said nothing. 

Tata smiled fondly at him. "You're right, honey. Blue-eyes and I were talking about you."

The Guardian arched an eyebrow. He didn't press them to say more, but Yue's silences could be very demanding.

Clow drank his juice, hoping that the tall glass would hide his flustered cheeks.

"I was just wondering why you look so distracted this morning," said Tata. "Maybe a little bit... in **_orbit_**?"

The juice ran up to Clow's nose and he coughed, feeling horribly clumsy.

"You keep doing that, Blue-eyes," Tata sniffed reproachfully. "It's rather disgusting."

Clow would have glared at her if the convulsive coughing had allowed. The one who ended up apologizing was the Moon Guardian. "I'm really sorry. I won't quit the practice until I get it right."

Tata's satisfied grin froze Clow's blood. 

"I think you should try again on your own, Yue," he replied quickly.

Yue gazed at the wizard for a thoughtful moment, his face an expressionless mask. At last he nodded, walking back to his shooting spot. No signs of relief or disappointment; no signs of minding the lack of his Master's touch, one way or the other. Therefore, Clow couldn't decide between feeling relieved or disappointed himself.

"Good idea," was Tata's conniving whisper.

The wizard frowned. "What idea?"

"Now we get to see if you being there or not has any influence in his concentration..." She flashed him a broad smile. "Ready to see my point proven?"

Clow paled. All he had intended was to get the clever sorceress off his back, but ended up giving her the opportunity to hang there forever...

If Yue hit the mark, that would mean... what? That Clow's touch did disturb him? Disturbed him because the Guardian was attracted to him... or because physical closeness to him was distasteful? And if Yue missed again... then he was completely indifferent to his creator's proximity? 

Did he really want to know what Yue thought of him?

But... "This won't prove any point, Tata," he whispered. "What if he sends the arrow astray on purpose?"

"To deceive you into holding him again?"

"Yes." Belatedly, he realized his unallowable slip. "NO!"

Startled, Yue turned to the mage, bow ready, out of reflex looking for threats to his master. "Clow?"

Tata waved at him. "It's nothing, honey. Blue-eyes just bit his tongue. He'll survive."

A silver eyebrow curved with skepticism and annoyance; catlike eyes made sure his precious Master was unscathed -- if a bit too reddened for a cool autumn morning -- and finally returned to focus on the white and carmine concentric circles of the round target.

Clow was glaring as many daggers at Tata as he could, looking at her by the corner of the eye. "You are the most horrible, insidious, ugly witch..."

"You blame **_me_** for your contradictions? You keep saying it's absurd, that Yue is just an innocent child, free of obscene thoughts, etc, etc... but you just admitted to know better than that, didn't you?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"For crying out loud, Blue-eyes! Will your teeth drop from your mouth if you just acknowledge the possibility that your Guardian **_might_** be trying to get you to notice him?"

"Will the sky fall on your head if you find out he feels for me nothing beyond the respect of a servant or the love of a son?"

"Probably," Tata growled. "I can't be that wrong."

"Well, you'd better hide under the cathedral crypt then," Clow muttered. "Because I'm absolutely sure that even if Yue is putting up an act, it's the act of a kid wanting his parent to spend more time with him. Nothing more."

"Sure, sure... that's why your kid is showing you so much skin all of a sudden..."

"He's not...!"

But the sorceress was waving a reproachful hand at him. "Hush, Blue-eyes. He's ready." 

And Yue was, indeed. Perfect posture, from the bare feet carefully positioned on the grass, to the naked arms holding the bow in a graceful grip that completely masked the brutal strength such an act required. By looking at him one would think that handling that weapon was as easy as keeping a tiny flower between the fingers. 

No, no... When looking at him, nobody would bother to pay attention to whatever weapon he would be holding, even if pointed to the observer himself. The Moon Guardian was a vision, a singing mermaid, an alluring dream...

...an illusion. A delirium of Clow Read's mind, made solid by powerful spells, forever intangible nonetheless. 

If Clow repeated that to himself for long enough, maybe those insatiate, inconvenient thoughts would eventually leave him alone?

Again the wind came to freeze the archer in place, threatening to carry the light arrow away and off its track. Yue waited patiently, keeping his stance like a soft-breathing statue, only his bangs acceding to the playful breeze...

...and...

It was all too fast for Clow and Tata to grasp. A hiss in the sky, a tense string suddenly free, a sharp bolt darting forward, a golden-orange blur crossing the garden from the left...

And all of a sudden a winged lion was falling heavily on the ground, a killer arrow protruding from his side, a howl of anguish piercing the air.

"Kerberus!!!"

Wings exploded to life on Yue's back as he flew blindly to the Sun Guardian's side, his face distorted in a scowl of horror and grief. What had he done? What had he done? "Kerberus! Kerberus please talk to me!"

Gently, he pulled the lion's whitish golden wings open, looking for the wound. The large animal panted, moaning at every ragged breath, cringing under Yue's cautious touch. "No... don't... hurts too... much..."

Yue gulped through a horribly dry throat. "I'm... I'm so sorry... I didn't see you coming..." He could see the tail of his arrow under the bulky body, pinned against the grass. "Let me... Roll over, Kerberus. I'll take it off for you..."

"...no..."

"Slowly, very slowly. I'll help you."

"It hurts..."

"That's why you have to do it, Kerberus! Come, turn around, I'll take it off and Clow will bandage you, you'll be all right, brand-new like in the day you were created, you'll see..." Yue was doing all he could to keep his fears from cracking his voice. He had to be calm, he had to be confident, he had to be rational. No matter if he was shattering inside, he couldn't break, not until Kerberus was healed, not until he corrected his unforgivable error. 

How **_could_** he shoot an arrow and not notice the Sun Guardian's presence nearby? How could he have been so stupidly careless? "Kerberus, listen to me, you're only hurting yourself more by lying on that side. I know it hurts to move, but at least then..."

"...doesn't matter... Yue..."

"Of course it matters, Kerberus! Don't you want to be well again?" The Moon Guardian was barely aware of Tata kneeling beside him, petting the lion's head in a soothing spell. 

"...too... late..."

Yue shook his head, firmly, desperately. "No."

"..it is, Yue... You know... it is..."

He wasn't hearing this. He couldn't be hearing this. The sorceress stood up gravely and he looked at her with pleading eyes. "Tata?"

She was biting her lip hard, her face completely blank. "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, honey."

In panic, Yue looked around for help. "Clow! He's hurt! Come quick!"

The wizard was still standing near the table though, good 70 yards away, totally immobile, totally unresponsive. Probably in shock.

"Yue..." Kerberus called so weakly that the Moon Guardian had almost to press his ear against the lion's mouth to hear him. "Yue... be strong... I came to bring..." He coughed.

"Bring? Bring what?"

With a moan so painful that sounded vaguely like a sob, Kerberus took off three crumpled envelopes from the pocket behind the chest plate in his armor. "...these... just arrived... for Clow." Somehow the lion managed to stick the sand-colored papers in Yue's hand. "...all three messengers said... they're urgent... extremely... urgent..." A cruel spasm, more agonizing coughing...

Yue could only crumple those meaningless envelopes even more in his clenched hand. Nothing could be so urgent. Nothing could be so important. "CLOW!!!!"

But Clow seemed rooted to the ground!

"Clow, he's dying!!!" the Guardian shrieked. "Only you can help him!"

Nothing. The tall man simply remained there, his hands clasped in front of his mouth in a pathetic gesture of sorrow, terror and incredulity...

...or...

...in a mighty effort not to laugh...?

No... 

No, no, no, no, no... Yue closed his eyes, grated his teeth, tensed all his muscles... "Kerberus."

"...Yue?"

"This arrow had better be deep in your guts, or I'm going to stab it right there."

A moment of awkward silence.

And at last Kerberus rolled over to look straight into the Moon Guardian's face. "You have weird priorities, Yue."

Clow's chuckles could be heard loud and clear despite the distance. Tata only shook her head helplessly, walking back to the table. "And now we'll never know if he'd miss the target or not," she muttered moodily. 

Yue was fuming. Steaming up. About to burst into flames at the smallest flicker...

With a broad smile, Kerberus pulled the arrow he had half-hidden under his front leg and rubbed its tiny feathers on Yue's nose. "Easy, Yue-chan! Won't you ever learn to have fun?"

...boom!

****

~*~

The three envelopes barely survived.

"Don't look at me," Kerberus protested and pointed at Yue. "They were smooth and neat until King of the Party here jumped on my neck."

The Moon Guardian put on his white coat over his dusty clothes, pulling back his rumpled mane. "You deliberately fly right in the path of my arrow, risk your life and make that pitiful spectacle of yourself, all that with the single purpose of ridiculing me," he stated soberly, emotionlessly. "And somehow you plan to blame **_me_** for the damage on letters that were trusted to **_you_**."

Across the table, Clow eyed his moon lark with awe and amusement. For six entire minutes that usually stoic creature had returned to the intense, childish, quick-tempered ways of his first years of life, revealing a passionate Yue that Clow sometimes assumed gone for good. But as fast it had come, it had gone. The dirty garments and the ruffled feathers in his wings were the only marks that that sudden appearance had left behind.

Tata served them full glasses of grape juice -- probably with some calming spell dissolved in the amber-colored liquid. "Half a step forward, three hundred miles backward. The three of you are driving me nuts."

The two Guardians looked at her as if they had never seen her before. Then they looked questioningly at Clow, who just shrugged behind her back and twirled his index finger at the side of his head in a clear "she's nuts" gesture.

Kerberus shrugged as well and went back to the subject. "Anyway. I saw Yue was brooding again. I just wanted to cheer him up."

Clow blinked. Brooding? Again?

"I wasn't brooding," Yue countered. "I was training. And what makes you think that pretending to be lethally wounded would cheer anyone up?"

The Sun Guardian practically purred, rubbing his head on Yue's thigh. "Ah, the things I have to do to make you admit your true feelings for me," he teased.

Taut as an ice block, Yue got on his feet, pushing the lion away in the process. "Do I have to rip off your skin to make you realize what I think of you?"

Kerberus snorted. "I'm talking about all the frantic sobbing because you thought I was going to die... I was really touched, you know."

"Well, don't be," the other snapped. "I was merely worried because I didn't want to be blamed for harming one of Master Clow's creations. Not even one he would be better off without." 

The last word almost didn't make it through Yue's lips, as he suddenly realized Clow was right there beside them, with a guest. In a way, criticizing Kerberus was criticizing Clow, who had made the bothersome Sun Guardian the way he was -- and loved the lion for what he was too, Yue thought bitterly. And even if the Guardians' job included alerting their Master about possibly bad decisions, challenging him in front of his guests was inexcusable. Even if this guest was old Tata, whom Clow had always considered part of his family.

The wizard sighed, staring at the apologetic look in the Moon Guardian's eyes. The servant's look. Embarrassed, disconcerted, fearful of an acid reproach...

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...angry, incredulous, accusing, indignant... fearful of betrayal... of abandonment... of extirpation... nullification... annihilation... **"...follow the Dolphin's footsteps..."** duty... detachment... arrogance... **"...seeing all sides in a conflict..."** frustration... **"...shattered wings... blood everywhere..."** soul-wrecking stupefaction... **"...her idea... my decision..."** oh no oh no oh no... Kerberus won't accept... Yue won't understand... the heart-freezing winter, the unlit hearth... **"...there's no one else, Clow..."** nothing else... nobody else... **"...better off without"**...

****

"...better off without..."

"...better off without..."

"Clow!!!"

The alien feelings and distressed voices gradually faded, as real sounds, smells and faces slowly coalesced around the wizard, slapping his numb mind awake. His knees tensed under the weight of heavy paws, and he saw Kerberus leaning over him, screaming his name in alarm. "Calm down, dear," Tata was reassuring the beast. "He's coming back now."

Only Yue hadn't moved. His moon lark had just stood there, staring at him in thunderous silence, throughout the whole time -- seconds? minutes? hours? -- that obscure vision had endured. 

"Blue-eyes? Are you with us?"

Clow breathed deeply, forcing his attention towards Tata. She caressed his hair tenderly, protectively, with the eyes of a mother tending to a sick child. "You were fighting it, weren't you?" she chided him softly. "Didn't your father ever tell you never to fight the visions?"

"...better off without..."

Now the Moon Guardian shuddered, obviously recognizing the words he had said about Kerberus. "Clow?"

Yue's voice... and the silence. Clow felt his eardrums throbbing, hammering his brain, his whole spirit begging for warmth and comfort. His eyes met the silvery creature's through layers and layers of timeless mist. 

"These words," the mage hissed. "Too soon you'll be regretting these words."

****

~*~

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March 26th, 2002

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Author's Notes:  
- This chapter is dedicated to Dr. Megalomania, in gratitude for her absolutely hilarious fics about the four Guardians. Way to go, doc!  
- If the first paragraph made you think of the lyrics, "Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun", I can't quite say it's just a coincidence ^_^  
- This is just the first chapter of a really long story. ***hint***_ Reviews and comments always inspire me to write faster. ^_~_

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This story is part of the Clow no Tenshi timeline. Read the other stories of the series in the Only the Inevitable website:  
http://www.solitudeofafallingstar.hpg.com.br/cardcaptorsakura.html


	2. Three Summons

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The Dolphin's Footsteps  
_by Morgan D._

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Book I

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Card Captor Sakura's characters belong to CLAMP and Kodansha. I'm responsible for Tata, Gareth Wilcox, Lady Wilcox, Lieh-Pai and the others. Feel free to borrow them, just tell people I'm the one to blame for their existence ^_~   
Sequel to **"Orbit and Contact"**_. You'd better read it before getting to this one.  
Shounen Ai._

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~*~

Part II  
Three Summons 

Yue, of course, took it the wrong way. Clow couldn't believe any of his Guardians would actually think he would ever tell them "you'll regret this" in **_that_** sense. Not seriously anyway. It wasn't his style, and furthermore, it was never the treatment he offered to anyone as dear and close to his heart as his adorable creations.

So it was hard not to feel somewhat betrayed by the apprehensive look in his moon lark's face. The wizard tried to be rational and remember that Yue was probably still feeling guilty for shooting that arrow without paying attention to his surroundings. Even if Kerberus had jumped in the way and dexterously caught the arrow in mid-flight on purpose, he **_could_** have been just obliviously flying around. It could have been a real accident, a quite dangerous one. Yue was usually very careful when practicing, and awfully strict about his own mistakes. He would think this slip would deserve the harshest punishment, and who else to dictate this punishment if not his Master? That was the natural assumption of a servant.

A servant.

Clow sighed bitterly. He wasn't all that fond of hard disciplining, and he had imagined Yue would have noticed it already. Perhaps having Gareth around for so long hadn't been such a bright idea after all. The boy reminded Yue too often that most sorcerers had little attachment to their magical "pets"; he might have inadvertently stuck some weird notions in the Moon Guardian's head.

Lady Wilcox was known for pulling her singing griffins' tails whenever they got out of tune, and for quoting her horse trainer when talking about the best ways to teach magical beings. Clow had hoped Gareth would grow wiser than that, but... Good grief...

Educating by fear wasn't something Clow could see himself doing. Besides, he couldn't think of a worse punishment for Yue than the shocking realization that he could have indeed accidentally killed someone, or the brutal embarrassment of being laughed at for falling for another of Kerberus's practical jokes. Adding any scolding to it at that point would only push the Moon Guardian further in his little corner of reserve and cautious mistrust of the world. Push him further away in his perennial orbit around his Master...

He couldn't. He had to talk to Yue, explain about the vision...

...explain... how? What **_was_** that vision?

"Honey, I think Blue-eyes might want to send a reply to these letters," Tata told Yue with her most loving tone. "Why don't you go fetch him his quill and stationery?"

Yue still eyed Clow with frightened eyes, as if he hadn't heard her. But at last he nodded absently and flew to the house. 

"Hey Clow," Kerberus huffed when the silvery angel was out of earshot. "C'mon, it's not as bad as all that... I **_know_** he didn't mean it." He shrugged. "Well, not entirely."

Pathetic tears flooded the wizard's eyes, and he dried them hastily before they ran down his face. He could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears, the eggs he had had for breakfast were churning in his stomach, the chilly air was burning his dry throat... and Kerberus had to choose that precise moment to be so absolutely endearing? "You don't need to defend him," he murmured, wincing at the sudden hoarseness in his voice. "I'm not angry."

"I'm not **_defending_** him!" the lion groaned. "It's just that..."

Clow waited patiently until his Sun Guardian came out with an excuse. It had to be a good one, to justify that lapse of protectiveness towards his "arch-rival". 

"...it's just that he'll get all sullen and desolate because you admonished him and he won't talk to me for a whole month..." Kerberus twitched his muzzle. "...not that this is a bad thing, that's probably the best part of it... But then he also won't have the guts to talk to **_you_** for a month..." His wings fluttered. "...although that'll be great, because you'll get to spend more time playing backgammon with me instead of babysitting him... But then he'll refuse to talk to the Cards too!" He grinned triumphantly. "And that will be a disaster because I'll be the only one putting them to work on the house, and the Moony ones will be nice enough to obey me but never the way they're **_supposed_** to... Rain will swamp the garden, Lock will bar all the wrong doors, Song will hum my lullaby out of tune, Loop will make me walk through the same corridors over and over... A complete cataclysm!"

Clow's eyes still stung menacingly. His lips wouldn't accept any command not to smile now. "I think I'm still perfectly capable of controlling my Cards, Kerberus. All of them."

The Sun Guardian hesitated only for half a second. "Yeah, but you'll be too busy trying to get Yue not to be miserable, and that takes time..."

Tata petted his ears. "Your fur got all ruffled in the fight, kitten... Bring me a brush and I'll smooth it for you."

The lion scowled. "You just want me to leave you alone with Clow so you two can talk behind my back."

"Exactly," she agreed with a broad smile. 

"Moon witch," Kerberus growled. "Because of that you'll have to rub my tummy too." With that the Sun Guardian rose gloriously in the air, soaring to the house on a completely different route from Yue's. 

The sorceress chuckled. "I have to hand it to you, Blue-eyes. He's quite a character."

Kerberus... What did that vision mean for Kerberus? Better off without... shattered wings... blood everywhere... Stray words from different voices, all whispering in tormented sorrow for a reality that was too coarse to be borne with sanity...

Tata put in Clow's hand the glass she had just poured for Yue. "Here, drink this. Right now I don't know who needs it worse."

He accepted the beverage, distantly noticing the slight change in taste from her calming spell. "Why did you send them away? I don't want Yue to think that I..."

"I know. But then you'll have to tell him what you meant by _"too soon you'll be regretting these words". _Are you feeling up to it already?"

Clow sighed and shook his head. Sure, he could simply say that those were the words of a prophecy, that someday he would see Yue displaying deep remorse for having said what he had just said... Hah, so simple... As if both Yue and Kerberus wouldn't assault him with all kinds of questions the second the term "prophecy" were mentioned. Very understandable questions, for which Clow had no fathomable answers so far.

The Guardians weren't gifted with the power of clairvoyance. They understood it in a theoretical sense, but never experienced it. Hence only Tata comprehended the haziness of it, and the numb feeling of loneliness that always followed a vision. Even visions predicting only happiness and good fortune brought the hollow, saddening sensation of having been alone in a misty world no one else could touch, and coming back without any words to properly describe what has been seen, heard and felt. 

He needed time to reorganize his thoughts, regain his composure. And find out what he could and what he couldn't tell his Guardians.

Minutes passed in thoughtful silence. The sun hid behind a small treacherous cloud, the only one tainting the perfect blue of the morning sky. Clow found himself wishing it to be summer again.

"It must have been really bad if you were fighting it," Tata suggested softly, not wanting to press him.

"I don't know. I wasn't even aware of fighting it."

"Vivid images?"

"No... yes." He leaned back on the chair, massaging his temples. "I'm not sure I really **_saw_** something. I was looking at Yue's face... and that was all I could see, his eyes staring at me with so much emotion..."

Tata perked up. "Emotion?"

"Not **_that_** kind of emotion," Clow snorted. "Fear. Shame. Anxiety."

"I saw those too, Blue-eyes," she pointed out. "Those were real."

"But then it changed. Horror. Anger. Indignation. And it kept changing over and over. Sadness. Loneliness. And fear again, more than ever. And pity."

"Pity?"

"I'm not sure pity is the right word. It was the only warm emotion I could sense from him. It was the only warm feeling I had throughout the whole experience."

"And that was all you saw?"

Clow took another sip of the juice. "Yes. But there were voices. Voices I know, mostly."

"Whose?"

He let out a sarcastic chuckle. "I couldn't tell. Isn't that what makes clairvoyance interesting?"

Tata rolled her eyes. "I only heard of one sorcerer that had visions as accurate as yours, Blue-eyes, and it was an old witch from Nepal, four times your age, that only got to be as good as you in her last decade of life. Count your blessings, boy!"

Clow was about to retort when he saw his two Guardians returning, carrying the objects they had been sent to fetch. Yue had also changed clothes, leaving behind the dirty white garments and flying back to his Master wearing a long navy-blue tunic, plain and with no ornaments except for the inseparable azure gem on the chest. He was trying to wordlessly show his repentance, Clow knew. However, Yue's attempts of dressing humbly were never that successful. Always with him was that ethereal, august quality, as if he had the innate ability of looking dignified even covered with mud.

He and Kerberus landed before the two sorcerers at the same time but not together, as they had approached the garden table from different sides. Opposing sides. 

In other circumstances, Clow would have laughed at how intrinsic that diametrical attitude was becoming to those two. But with the acrid perfume of ominous stupor still filling his nostrils, the mage sensed there wouldn't be many occasions to laugh for the next months...

****

~*~

At least Tata and Kerberus were having fun. Especially since the woman was visibly less interested in arraying the lion's fur than making it as entertaining as possible. "I'd never noticed how much you resemble my grandfather," she chortled, combing the white fur around his mouth to cover his snout. 

"What a great figure he must... ***_aaaa-CHOO_***... have been." Kerberus rubbed a paw to his nose. "That tickles."

She put the white fur back as it was supposed to be... but started drawing strange patterns on the golden pelt over his eyes. "And like this you look just like our dear Lady Wilcox..."

The lion frowned. "My chin will never be that big..."

"Don't move! Don't move!" Tata examined him closely. "Look, Blue-eyes! Scowling like this, couldn't he pass for Lieh-Pai's younger brother?"

Kerberus tilted his head furiously. "Don't insult me!"

The sorceress grabbed him by the neck before he could run. "Come back here, I'm not done with you yet. And I happen to find Lieh-Pai a very attractive man."

"What?!" The Sun Guardian couldn't believe his ears.

"The only one of Blue-eyes's cousins I bothered to look twice at."

"He's a mucky snake!"

"No, he's a stalwart, virile, handsome snake." She winked at Yue. "Don't you think so, honey?"

"Huh?" the silvery angel blinked. "I... I don't know."

"Be honest, honey. Don't tell me you've never noticed him."

Yue seemed completely lost, sitting beside Clow without daring to raise his eyes towards him, his long fingernails scratching the table surface nervously. "The Counselor has... a very distinguished presence."

Tata grimaced at the diplomatic reply, but chose not to continue the game. Clow wasn't paying any attention anyway, as he let his mind flee from his current problems to focus on the first of the three letters. "Bad news, Blue-eyes?"

"Lady Wilcox," he answered succinctly.

She rolled her eyes. "Bad news then."

"Does she send news about Gareth?" asked Kerberus.

"No. She gives me a detailed report on the religious practices in the Brendt farms."

Tata knitted her thin brows. "Why?"

"She's afraid that... the Brendt stockmen are risking their souls by embracing vile customs that are condemned by the Church of England," he quoted.

"I thought Lady Wilcox was Calvinist," Tata pointed out.

"She is," Clow agreed wryly. "Only she doesn't realize it yet."

"Does any of that make any difference?" Kerberus yawned, offering his neck to Tata's brush.

"What does she want, Blue-eyes?"

"My help to... guide those lost, incautious souls back to the path of Truth and Righteousness," he quoted again.

"You?!" The sorceress let out a wild, vibrant laugh. "I wouldn't trust you to guide me across the street!"

"Tata, please..."

"And since when you've converted to the Church of England?"

"Lady Wilcox describes me here as a wise, kindhearted magician," Clow said dryly. "I suppose we always think wise people must share our beliefs, or else they wouldn't be wise." He sighed. "The fact is, she never asked me about my religion." 

Kerberus was frowning in wonder. "I don't get it, Clow. What does she expect you to do about those folks? For all I know, you don't have the power to change other people's faith... do you?"

"I don't even want to find out."

"But..."

"Coercion, kitten," explained Tata. "Intimidation. Threatening them with impressive magic, frightening them with the power of lightning, floods, drought, hurricanes... and promising the gods' forgiveness and good fortune if they "choose" to change their habits. Good grief, I've seen too much of it everywhere."

"Gareth's mother wouldn't..."

"Only because she doesn't have enough power to do it, thank goodness. That's the greatest dilemma with magic wielders. At first they're so fascinated with the things they can do that they never stop to think if those are things they **_should _**do. Only many and many decades of practice can bring you knowledge and discipline enough so you can decide wisely when to interfere and when to let it be. And if you think about it, kitten, you'll realize that the most powerful sorcerers of all time were precisely the ones that least intervened in history."

"I'm not sure if I agree with you, Tata," Clow murmured.

The old woman sent him a heavy glare. "Don't tell me you're considering to accept..."

"Of course I'm not. I'm just saying that we don't study magic for so long only to keep our houses clean, our gardens blooming and our stomachs full. It'd be horribly selfish to waste all our skills and knowledge with ourselves. If we're blessed with the faculty of helping other people to find good fortune, tranquility, health, justice, our omission is unacceptable."

Tata was shaking her head in clear disappointment. "And here I was so happy that you took after your father..."

"My father never neglected anyone in need."

"No, but he knew that magic wasn't the solution for all the needs of the world."

"I'm not saying it is!" Clow protested. 

"Are you sure?"

The two sorcerers glowered at each other for a brief moment, until their irritation was dissolved into the warm comfort of familiarity. "You know, Tata, I don't think I ever got you to tell me I'm right about anything," Clow giggled.

She shrugged and resumed brushing Kerberus's fur with a lopsided grin. "You never are, that's why."

The lion wouldn't rest still though, as his delighted chuckles burst in the air. Clow's strange, reticent mood was bothering him greatly, and Yue's despondent silence was assuredly **_not_** improving things at all, so it was a relief to have the old Moon witch around at a time like that to hearten those two up. Especially since her methods were so amusing. 

"Don't mock me, Kerberus," Clow nudged him, and opened the second envelope. "Or I won't tell you that the other letter is from Gareth."

The next second the Sun Guardian was on his hind legs behind Clow, leaning over the mage's chair so he could read from over his shoulder. "What does he say? Is he back in Cambridge?"

It was hard for Clow to tell, with a large lion's head between him and the paper.

Yue opened his mouth to censure Kerberus for snooping into their Master's correspondence, but closed it tight before uttering a single sound. He wouldn't risk hearing another rebuke from Clow.

"Hey, he's still here!" Kerberus exclaimed, reading the heading. "Heh, I guess his mother wasn't ready to let him go back yet... Won't he be in trouble in school for being away for so long?"

"I'll try to find out as soon as you let me read his letter," Clow smirked. 

"Huh? Oh!" The lion dismounted from the mage's seat and returned to Tata's care. "But read it out loud!"

Clow didn't. As always, Gareth's writing was long, verbose, overly anecdotal and very reluctant to be any objective, precisely what he wasn't in the mood for right now. He quickly ran his eyes down the eight pages of small, flowery calligraphy, looking for actual content, promising Kerberus to let him read them by himself later. 

At the last page, in the very last paragraph, was the real reason behind Gareth's missive. "For crying out loud, she's taking this too seriously," Clow groaned.

"What? Who?"

"Lady Wilcox. Gareth says she's already started her intimidation strategy."

"What is she doing?" Tata inquired.

"Gareth describes a new being she created... a tiny insect with an orchid shape. Apparently quite exquisite for what he says, but with a voracious appetite for wheat grains..."

The old woman couldn't hide her surprise. "So she **_does_** have enough power?!"

"Some farmers have lost one fifth of their crops already," Clow told them. "But still she thinks her Orchaide, as Gareth's calls it, is too slow for her purposes, and creating another would take too much time..."

"...and that's why she asked your help," Tata concluded bitterly. "Because her version of divine punishment isn't convincing enough."

Kerberus was shocked. "What's got into her?! She's all weird and brassy, and some of her sudden whims make even Clow look like a sufferable man... but this?!"

Clow had a suspicion or two about that. Lady Wilcox had always been a loud, opinionated woman ever since he remembered her. However, something had been changing gradually over the years, something deep and subtle, since she had lost her husband to a preposterous skirmish with an enraged servant that returned with a sharp sword an unnecessary insult to his honor. There was no one around to counter her anymore, and only one son to offer her heart to. A son that had irremediably grown old enough to go to a university too many miles away, old enough to want and need independence, but still too young to understand that he really didn't need to break all the ties with...

He halted that line of thought with a shudder. Dangerous topic. One that Tata could easily turn against him if he said it aloud. 

Lady Wilcox had changed, period. And her growing solitude probably had a lot to do with her expanding weirdness and brassiness.

"Well, that's exactly the kind of nosy sorcerer I was talking about," Tata spat. "She believes Truth and Power are beside her, so why not use the latter to guarantee the former?"

"The sad part is that she might be genuinely worried about the stockmen's souls," Clow sighed. "If she genuinely believes that what they do is offensive to the God she prays for."

Tata snorted at that, but said nothing. 

"At least Gareth is also showing genuine concern about the situation in Brendt," the wizard pointed out. "And that is exactly what **_I_** meant by helping other people to find justice. He's not a magician, but if he were I'm sure he'd using his talents to do the right thing. I'm sure he **_is_** using all the talents he has to do the right thing."

"Like calling you to help him?" Tata asked caustically. 

"If I know Gareth, he's doing a lot more than that," Kerberus stated confidently.

Clow nodded.

"After all, even if he's not so genuinely concerned about the crops or the Truth's owner, he's very genuinely in love with a pretty brunette whose father is some sort of parson or druid in Brendt," the Sun Guardian went on. "He was even talking about marriage, you know."

The two sorcerers froze. Even Yue was choking at that.

Sensing the abrupt silence, Kerberus eyed the people around them with exasperation. "What?"

"Good grief!" Clow gasped.

Tata leaned back on her chair and faked a thoughtful look. "Say, Blue-eyes... You think young Gareth wanting to marry outside his mother's religion might have a little something to do with all this?" Sarcasm was practically dripping from her tongue. 

"I can't believe it. I can't believe it!" Clow blurted out. "What are they thinking?!"

The old lady shrugged. "My guess is that they think you are a wise, kindhearted magician, who's still naïve enough to be manipulated by whoever comes up with a clever speech full of good intentions. And I'm still not sure if they're wrong."

Clow stood up and paced around the table as his blood rushed violently to his head and limbs, making it impossible for him to remain seated. "Absurd! This goes beyond all the discussions about ethics we might have. It's a low game, absolutely irresponsible!"

In silence, Tata played with the brushy fur on the tip of Kerberus's tail for a few minutes, giving Clow the time to steam off. Honestly, she found hard to bring her heart to feel so much indignation, despite the obvious cowardliness of using magic to attack the crops of defenseless farmers. She had indeed seen too much of it already, and Lady Wilcox was simply not worse or better than the great majority of sorcerers in the world. Tata wasn't too old to care, but she did feel too old to believe there was a way out. That kind of egotistical wickedness seemed to be engraved in the very essence that made mankind to be what it was. Very few tried to fight this fateful trait, and fewer yet were any successful in it.

Besides, although she and Lady Wilcox could hardly be considered friends, they had too much in common to make any easy for Tata to point fingers at the other. Two women in their last years of life, lonely women that had once loved passionately, worked intensely, breathed delightedly, enjoyed the boon of existence as if it grew from an immortal tree that would never leave them hungry... Two witches that now had to approach the end of their road with the tart realization that they were leaving no heirs to their magic -- poor Gareth! --, no one to continue their works, no mark for posterity, no sign that their passion, intensity and delight had meant anything more than an ephemeral breeze over the grass. 

Two women desperate to build something good, something to be proud of. Tata had focused on her dear tutor's son, and tried at least make sure that he'd be walking a path for happiness when she left this life. But that implied supposedly knowing what was best for him, just like Lady Wilcox supposedly knew what was best for Gareth and the Brendt stockmen... 

One good reason never to offer Yue a love potion. If Tata were wrong about her assumptions, then hopefully fate would prove her wrong. Just because she knew how to bend nature didn't mean she knew **_when_** to do it. 

Yue stared at his Master's frantic pacing, mute anxiety widening his feline eyes, while Kerberus wondered what malevolent bug had bitten Clow that morning. The crackpot wizard hadn't yelled at Yue -- or any of them, actually -- in years, not since that time the two Guardians had had a nasty fight about the taste of snow. Yue had called Erase to delete the ground under Kerberus's feet, and the lion had asked for Create's help to produce a varied amount of heavy objects to be dropped on the angel's head... therefore reforming the layout of Clow's house in Japan... you know, just a tiny little bit... 

And even then Clow would have found it funny... if only Erase hadn't gotten rid of his whole library, and Create hadn't dropped the head of the Egyptian Sphinx on his washroom... 

Anyway. Clow had yelled at Yue then. Well, at both of them. And the wizard didn't even help them to fix things, nor did he let them use the Cards for it. He only smiled at them again after his bathtub was repaired five weeks later. The longest five weeks in Kerberus's life, and he didn't want to imagine the hell it had been for Yue. The irksome Moon Guardian was far too sensitive to their Master's mood. 

So whatever was bugging Clow now, Kerberus hoped it would leave him alone fast. A gloomy Clow meant sadness and boredom in the whole house.

Eventually, the wizard stopped pacing, coming to stand near the table. "Yue?"

The silvery angel nearly jumped. "Yes, Master?" Yue answered tentatively, still not facing him.

Not that Clow would have noticed it, since he still couldn't face his moon lark either. "Would you write a reply for the Wilcoxes for me? My hands are shaking."

The Guardian looked like someone else entirely after Clow's softly spoken request. Not completely his usual self yet, but at least the palest shade of pink tinted his cheeks, his feathers rippled contentedly, and a threat of a smile glimmered in his lips. "Of course, Master."

As Yue took hold of the quill and papers and prepared for the dictate, Clow opened the third envelope, his mind totally concentrated on elaborating polite but strong sentences to express his feeling on the whole matter of the Brendt farms. He valued the Wilcoxes' friendship and didn't want to lose it, but there were limits. There had to be limits. To his patience and to their thoughtlessness. 

Tata sighed sadly. That beautiful morning had promised her such a jolly, pleasant day, and somehow everything was down the drain now. She massaged Kerberus's neck with great care, wondering if she could count on the Sun Guardian's complicity in a plan to restore the good spirits of the house...

Yue signaled that he was ready. The sorceress was sure that his calligraphy would be unbearably faultless, a work of art worthy of being hung on the wall before the King's bed, so eager was the angel to please his Master.

"I received your letter," Clow dictated in Chinese. "I'll be leaving immediately. Count on my arrival in no more than twenty-five days."

Yue blinked. "Should I write to the Wilcoxes in Chinese?"

Kerberus was even more intrigued. "Are you planning to creep all the way to the Wilcox Estate? There's no way you'll take twenty-five days to get there if you leave immediately."

Tata stared at Clow in bewilderment, astonished at how quickly he seemed to have regained his ludicrous sense of humor... 

...but there was no humor at all in him. A massive, tenebrous aura enveloped him whole, bringing the temperature around him to fall brusquely, bringing the scariest shiver to her bones. She tried to call his name, and found her voice gone.

Clow clenched his fingers, crumpling the solitary paper that composed the third letter, the one he had just read. "We're going to Hong Kong," he hissed.

"Again?" Yue gulped. Clow looked even more furious than before. And he was emitting to his Guardians the sense of danger, of needing their protection, but Yue couldn't find any menace around!

"What about Gareth and the Brendt farms?" Kerberus frowned.

Tata had to gather great courage to fight that dreadful speechlessness that had dominated her. "Blue-eyes... if this is your mother summoning you again," she indicated the crumpled letter, "let me deal with her. The old hag is always coming up with the darkest ultimatums, but I can..."

"She's gone, Tata," Clow snapped, thick tears winning over him. "My mother is dead."

****

~*~

__

April 9th, 2002

****

Author's Notes:  
- I couldn't find any place called Brendt in the Atlas, so hopefully this is an entirely fictional land founded in my overactive mind.   
- No offense of any kind was meant to followers of any religion. We'll sadly find people like Lady Wilcox in all religious/political/social groups, in all countries, in all History.

****

This story is part of the Clow no Tenshi timeline. Read the other stories of the series in the Only the Inevitable website:  
http://www.solitudeofafallingstar.hpg.com.br/cardcaptorsakura.html


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